Slowly it had reached the saturation level. Now all she wished was to cry out hard and run back home and never return. She wanted to hide within the safety walls of her house, burying her face in her mother’s lap and forever remain confined to only that.
She met different people every day. Some asked her to smile broader while some used to get irritated with it. She knows she is fat and incapable of many things, however, no one would agree with her. She could sense people making fun of her regarding the same behind her back and remain all sugar-coated in front. She wanted to leave all those people behind, all those games abaft and move towards her abode, where people would only be true to her and nothing else.
She lost her charm. She lost her smile. She lost that twinkle in her eyes. The girl, who would seldom cry, now became so vulnerable that she cried for every small thing. Her ‘Laughing Buddha’ tag changed to ‘Crying Buddha’, something which she herself despised. Everyone wanted her to change in some way or the other. The irony being, she herself wanted to change the way she was being changed into something she is not.
Dumb, Idiot, Fat, Negative, Timid, Fool, Mad, Boring….and the list goes on. Everyone thinks the same, but considerate enough not to say it on her face. She knows it coz of the vibes she gets, however, when asked directly, they deny it quickly.
She had dreams that she will be able to make a huge family out there, but failed to do so by being left alone in the huge premises. Hence all she would do was count days backwards, wanting to fly back home, to her mother’s embrace, her father’s pampering and her brother’s care and mischief, not wanting to return back to #familyawayfromhome which meant only for a hash-tag.
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